The Great Aux War of 2016

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It seems as though any mention of the word “Trump” sends a shiver down the spine.  With his extreme antics and untamed tongue, many Americans have even posed the question of emigrating if The Donald were to be elected POTUS.  While there may be a million and one problems the next head of state will have to deal with, sadly, we are at a time where terrorism is pushing the country closer and closer to war everyday.  Since I don’t fancy myself a politician nor any where near informed enough to pass an opinion, I do feel qualified to offer some judgement on a different war we are currently battling.  Battles in this particular war are fought daily, in cars or at a party, rather than on the front lines in say, Syria?  The war I’m eluding to also isn’t one of attrition, rather it’s based in audio.  Music.  The AUX cord.  No matter where I go or what I do there is a frenzy surrounding who will get the coveted right to plug in their phone and DJ the scene.  While lives aren’t at stake with The Great Aux War of 2016, my ear drums are.  Music is all about soundtracking the environment and frankly, my friends bitching about who’s up next and erupting over a shitty song choice has gotten exhausting.  Luckily, there’s a solution.

Let’s close our eyes and imagine a time before listeners had a choice.  A time where what was on was essentially what you were going to listen to.  A time where knobs were turned to find the right frequency, rather than blaring across the room “Yo bro, whats your passcode?!?!”  In case you haven’t caught my drift yet, I’m trying to get you to close your eyes and remember the radio!  Once upon a time in our not so distant past there was no auxiliary cord.  No USB.  No Blutooth.  Nothing aside from the sweet ambient sounds of the airwaves.  Again I don’t want to get it twisted, I’m up on the music scene…Spotify, Tidal, Apple Music, Soundcloud…the whole nine.  23 out of 24 hours a day I’m plugged into my speakers playing my Discover playlist and shuffling through my 7 years of archived music I have saved on my external.  It’s great that it’s all there (music that is) at the touch of a button.  9.99$ a month and you can stream everything from Drake to Beethoven back to Kanye with a pitstop in Woodstock to hear the Rolling Stones live.  I love it and I use it all, but as with all things in life, there’s a fine line between USE and ABUSE.

The AUX cord argument is just getting tired.  Everywhere you go you have psuedo-DJ’s who just “downloaded some new fire” or “found a link to all of the live Ultra sets.”  While their taste is about as impressive as their detective work, it’s the fact that these people simply can’t enjoy the ride unless they have the authority over the airwaves.  I’m serious, I know way too many kids who will be at a party with the most sour look on their face due to the music.  While I don’t love country music, you can play it by me without warranting a nails-on-the-chalk-board reaction.

I was fortunate enough to be gifted 6 free concert tickets the other day by my little sister (you da real MVP nik).  While the line up was far from choice, I had the best fucking time listening to whatever the hell these DJ’s decided to throw on.  The next day my feet felt like I just walked over hot coals and my neck felt like I just took a shot from Conor McGregor…I danced my ass off.  Later in the car I was listening to some of my favorites from the day prior and I was appalled.  Dillon Francis had me moving at 140 BPM at the main stage but I felt like I was going to vomit on my steering wheel hearing his eclectic sounds without him actually being there.  I am not going to chalk this phenomenon up to the fact that I was surrounded by booty shakers in sequin zebra print at the concert compared to my fat Italian friend Frank in the car to change my taste…no instead, it’s simply because when I was at the show the AUX cord was just never going to make it my way.

Here’s the take away…when people have CHOICE they tend to like to exercise it.  Whether it’s boxers or briefs, hip hop or rock and roll, given a situation with options, people like to feel in control.  That tendency isn’t a bad thing and will probably lead to success’s in other walks of life.  When it comes to music however, it isn’t always the right way to go.  Instead of fighting over the AUX, turn on the radio.  Pick a station and let it ride.  Take the autonomy out of the situation and I promise you will find much more enjoyment than you would have jumping around your recently added, caving into your song ADD as you let a song play for :45 seconds…max!  Listen to XM, they’re allowed to drop F Bombs, N Bombs, T Bombs, and even X Bombs…in addition to that, you’ll be given the same excitement I had at Dillon Francis when he dropped something that just perfectly fit the moment.  The element of surprise is a real thing and when it comes to music, it can’t hurt to let someone else take the lead…just keep dancing.

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